On Friday, 20th October 2023, I was fortunate enough to have had a wonderful book launch for Možda stvarno, my second book in Croatian (English version available here: https://tinyurl.com/3adh8c8x).
It was a touching event, with so many dear friends, educators, parents, students and creative people present, as well as some wonderful music from the woman’s choir Benette and a young guitarist Vito K. and vocalist Iva J.
The feeling was pure bliss, filled with kindness, music, stories, memories and quality communication. #books #Croatia #booklaunch #maybe4real
This is one of my favourite videos on creativity, on being yourself, on sharing and communicating your gifts. What I appreciate especially about it is that it surprised me to hear it from this actor, whom I’d always thought of as someone who had stayed in the shadows for so long, too long, for some weird reason.
I will always lovingly remember the scene of the ‘sweaty-toothed madman’ from The Dead Poets’ Society, when his teacher, played by R. Williams, gets that particular poetic image (and a whirlwind of emotions) out of Ethan’s bottled-up character. It was such a liberating moment in the movie, but perhaps even more so for me. It confirmed to me how important it is to communicate our emotions and ideas in any means available to us. It can be painful, risky, misunderstood, not lucrative. However, it is the only honest, powerful, essential force that sustains us all, both as individuals and as a community. Being yourself, walking your path. Even if it is ‘only’ (?) poetry. Finding our own, personal venue of communicating our gifts with the world, without any hidden agenda, just because it comes as breathing, as sustenance to us – that is so important. We owe it to ourselves and each other.
When I recognise that special moment with some learners, be they children or adults, when I feel that shift in them, that realization in them that we all need to communicate ourselves with each other in order to grow and help others grow…When I see them discover their channels of expressiveness… When I am able to help someone awake that inner giant within themselves, that is when I feel complete, purposeful, called and integral in life. Art and creativity help do this, and my vocation has so much to do with the art of words, the art of communication.
Vacationing and creativity have always gone hand in hand for me. I have gotten into this slight craze of turning tiny old boxes, various thingamajigs, collage and glue into dioramas. It will pass but for now it makes me happy, gives me that buzz of turning nothing into something. Will it work for something more? I hope so. My children have always challenged my creativity. I love them for it. #diorama #recycle #reuse #creativity #meditation
True. I love her more with each passing thought. With each sound of her barely dragging feet, clutching her walking cane with obstinacy, breathing through the daily pain brought upon by old age and hard work.
I remember how angry I used to be with her sometimes when I was younger, not understanding why she would do somethings in such a complicated, old-fashioned way, why she wore the same shoes for decades and claimed she didn’t need new ones, why she constantly gave me chores, why she never appreciated gifts, why she would slways find faults woth what I did and yet boasted about me to her friends, why she would be so stubbornly difficult about trying out new things. I still get frustrated when she won’t ask for help.
But now I understand.
And I love her more with each passing day. It is an honour to assist her in taking a shower. It is a privilege to have received, and to still be receiving, from her so much more than she was supposed to be able to give. It is bliss to remember how she taught me to draw (it worked), how she made me write everything double to stop me from pressing the pencil too hard (it worked), how she taught me how to sew, knit and cook, at least a bit before she would lose patience and do it better herself. I thought it was meant as better. Now I know it was just faster because she had a million other things to do.
Now I understand. I may still disapprove of some of it, but I understand.
As I write this, my playlist reaches ‘In the Arms of an Angel’. How stunningly appropriate!
I love her more with each passing thought. Just being able to still hold her, look at her, learn from her… it is a privilege. A loving mother. She.
Today is another defeating day for humanity. In a neighbouring country, there has been a school shooting started by a 14-year-old boy.
Just this morning, before I even learnt about it, I was travelling to work and among my many memories, my review for Jean Gill’s Left Out popped out (https://anitashaven.wordpress.com/2017/04/28/left-out-by-jean-gill-my-review/?preview=true). I remember reading it very vividly, as I also read it with my teenage pupils just last year. It deals with plenty of teenage issues, one of them even resulting in a school shooting.
I also remember my teenage pupils commenting on the school shooting in the book as something distant, something that happens only in American movies and some parts of the US. Well, it does not. And it does not only happen in books and movies. I wish we could say it only happens in fiction.
There is NO ‘it happens only there’ to it. We are all in this together, we all share this place and timeline. Each one of these events chips away at a big chunk of our entirety as humanity. A painful, irretrievable chunk of our joint spirit.
No amount of finger pointing will fix that now. Blaming the parents, blaming the bullies, blaming schools, blaming the system… will NOT fix it.
We all NEED to act now – talk with children, be with them, meet their friends, listen to the warning signs, talk with other parents, listen to each other more. Hug. Breathe. Together. Feel each other. Trust each other. Be kind to each other.
In the last few weeks I have had the opportunity to tell Winky’s Colours to children in several storytelling workshops, even the Croatian version. It felt so good to see and hear their reactions, do follow-up dance and art activities and enjoy their laughter.
It is amazing how many times you can tell a story and get more and more new ideas on improving the text of the book. Not change events just rephrase and tweak some parts.
For a brief moment today I felt fearless (cup inscription), unburdened by a possible “no” or what someone might think about me. And I used that emotion, that good gust of wind, that motivation, and I did something I wouldn’t have done before. I offered a collaboration to someone and I spoke highly of myself. (Can you imagine that?) It is not relevant what they reply. It’s not like I have much to lose. But I dared to cross that threshold.
I am not perfect, I am not attractive, I am not modern, I am not young and experienced. But I am I. We have all been moulded out of the same dough anyway, and what spices and frostings we retain throught our lives, that is up to us. Someone will like it, someone will not. But those who recognise us, they will truly recognise us.
Let me illustrate my point…
Not long ago, I made these muffins. The same recipe, the same day, different pans, different ovens. The same heart, will and love for those I was baking for that day. I am nor much of a chef and this is not a recipe post. But my loved ones ate away all of these muffins, regardless of their form. When someone recognises it, they recognise it. 💝
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